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**Coming Soon**
SAMPLE LESSON #1 – INTRODUCTION
THE PAIN

You have tried everything. You are not stupid. You have decent self-discipline in almost all other areas of your life. You know better. It is not like someone has to pressure you to stop looking at pornography and/or masturbating. You have hated it for years…and still…it comes back again. It is almost impossible to talk to anyone about it. No one is going to understand. They are just going to tell you what you already know – it is bad to do and you should stop or you are going to “hell”.

For a while there you maintained hope. You have succeeded before in other things, you can succeed again. You have been a problem solver and you will solve this one also. But…it is not working this time. You have begun withdrawing from those who will be disappointed. You have begun crossing things off from your future – like serving a mission and getting married in the temple. You could lie about your struggles – so many others do and get away with it. You have lied before, and it drove you nuts. Now, you just avoid those who will be disappointed and/or judgmental.

You find yourself relating to the man in the New Testament (Mark 9:17-29) who had already tried everything in hopes of finding a solution for his son’s illness, and nothing was working. Christ was not intimidated by the previous lack of success. He first recognized that there was a Dark Spiritual element involved in torturing the young man. After the father begged for compassion, “Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.” Not surprisingly, “the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”

The problems this young man was dealing with were resolved by prayer and fasting. I am going to guess that you have already tried that. Two thousand years after this event, Satan has improved and diversified his fighting weapons. In this day and age, prayer, fasting, thought control and exercise are not enough.

I am sad that what you have tried so far has not worked. My awareness of your pain is what drives me to write this lesson. We now have a much greater understanding of Satan’s modern war tactics. When know how he attacks and we know how to beat him.

I invite you to risk hoping again. I invite you to shed humiliation and hopelessness.

CATEGORIES

If you can identify with the above paragraph, then you probably realize that you need help to overcome these behaviors. In order to begin moving forward with your recovery, it is important to understand where you are.

Sexual misbehavior (pornography use, masturbation, morality issues) in men can be separated into 4 different categories:

Almost never:
Very rare. Curiosity and the power of male sexuality usually lead to some occasional “lost battles” during adolescents. Once they reach missionary age and older, you can expect them to have the skill and maturity keep “accidents” from happening.

Experimenters:
An individual who never experiences the misbehavior on a regular basis, but it does take some effort to avoid becoming an addict. The individual never experiences the sensation of being ‘out of control.”

Addicts:
Someone who has promised themselves (and/or others) that they will stop the behavior, over and over again, and have not been able to do so for any significant amount of time.

Former addicts:
An individual who was once an addict, but has demonstrated for a significant amount of time—control over the addictive behavior and regularly acts upon safeguards to avoid relapse. (Border patrol activities)

  • Every once in a while, an individual who was once an addict loses all inclination to “re-offend.” This is highly unusual, but possible.
  • While a former addict may have occasional cravings, as long as he “bridles” them and avoids misbehavior, he is not classified as an Addict.
  • While a former addict may have occasional cravings, as long as he “bridles” them and avoids misbehavior, he is not classified as an Addict.

If you think you are an addict, then read on. These lessons are designed to help you realize you can break free. If you are an experimenter or a former addict, these lessons can help you maintain and not get to the level of addiction.


EXERCISES

If the pain described above sounds like what you have been experiencing, then we invite you to take a minute and complete two exercises which will help you in your recovery process. In Exercise A, you will need to identify your strengths. Please feel free to ask a parent or friend if you need assistance. It is important that you take time and really think about your strengths because these will be important in later exercises. Exercise B is a self-assessment which will help you to categorize your behavior and determine your needs.

EXERCISE A
(We recommend that you print out Exercise A and have your parents fill it out for you also)

What are your strengths?__________________________________________________________
What are you good at?____________________________________________________________
What are your accomplishments?___________________________________________________
Do you play any sports?___________________________________________________________
Which are you best at? ___________________________________________________________
What subjects in school are you good at?_____________________________________________
What is your cumulative GPA?______________________________________________________
What AP classes have you taken?___________________________________________________
Do you play any musical instruments?________________________________________________
Do you sing?____________________________________________________________________
What jobs have you worked at?_____________________________________________________
What are your hobbies?___________________________________________________________
Of all the above activities, which do you take most seriously? ____________________________
Do you have enough girl friends?____________________________________________________
Do you have enough guy friends?___________________________________________________
What do you consider to be your best characteristics (honesty, tenacious, kindness, compassion, sense of humor, intelligence, etc.) __________________________________________________
Tell me about your attitude toward God and religion. ___________________________________
Why are you fighting this addiction? ________________________________________________
Why don’t you just let it be part of your life?__________________________________________
Here’s a sample answer to Question 18 from a young man in the Sons of Helaman program member:

“I am fighting so I can someday do those things that I need to do for eternal life and exaltation. I am also fighting because I deserve better than this! I am a child of God. God is my Father in Heaven. I am a child of God and I’ve got better things to deal with than this lowlife, sleezy, slime. I am fighting because it is wrong and because I need to be able to be worthy to use the priesthood when either I or someone else needs it. That is part of my duty and responsibility. I need to better help and serve others and to serve a full time mission. I promised God that I would in the pre-existence. I know that Mr. M and P are getting in the way so it is time to push them out of my way and crush Satan’s head. I am going to do it, I know I can and I know that I will if I keep fighting with Christ’s help.”

EXERCISE B

  1. Have you ever promised yourself that you would stop viewing pornography or masturbating but did not keep your promise? Yes/No How many times have you broken promises to yourself?
  2. Have you ever lied to your parents or a church leader about your behavior? Yes/No
  3. Do you ever feel bad or uncomfortable about your sexual behavior? Yes/No
  4. Do you resort to pornography or masturbation to escape from your problems, relieve anxiety, or to cope? Yes/No
  5. Are you fearful of others finding out about your activities? Yes/No
  6. Do you ever feel like your need for pornography or masturbation is more powerful than you? Yes/No
  7. Please rank yourself:
    • I almost never view pornography or masturbate.
    • I am an experimenter (experiences misbehavior on a regular basis but never has been “out of control”)
    • I am an addict (promises self that will stop but fails to keep promise)
    • I am a former addict

This self-assessment is just to give you an idea of where you are and what you need to do to help yourself. If the answer is “yes” to any of questions 1-6, it is likely you have an addiction and need additional help which the following lessons will provide. Even if you ranked yourself as an experimenter, you can still gain a lot of insight by completing these lessons.