Sex: “Is it a mutual desire, or always the man coming on/begging?” Part 2

While women are deeply motivated by a need for safety and security, men are deeply motivated by the 2 “C”’s: Confidence and Competence. In order for the cave man to go out into the dangerous world and fight dinosaurs, he needed to not be overly concerned about his own safely and security. But he also needed to have a beyond-all-logic level of self confidence. Mathematically, it is just plain stupid to try to fight against something so much bigger than you. But, men will do it anyway! The cave man began to notice an interesting dynamic. Right on the heels of having a quality sexual experience, there was a rush of feelings (chemicals) that made him feel more Confident and Competent, thus increasing his desire and ability to Provide and Protect. Not surprisingly, this is still true in most cases today. This set of dynamics (that I believe is one of the most amazing Divine Orchestrations I have ever seen) can create a very powerful positive cycle. In an ideal situation, before a man and a woman meet, he is preparing himself to be an excellent Provider and Protector. She is preparing herself to be able to successfully nurture a man and his offspring. When they meet, if she feels he will be a successful Provider and Protector, she will attempt to draw his attention. He will check for two things… “Will she provide me with children (in other words, will she do things with me that are intended to create children)?” And, “Does she have what it takes to successfully bring that child up to adulthood?” These things all fall into the category of, “Is she a good nurturer?” If he feels she can and will do these things, he will pursue her. In many cultures, women learned that in order to increase her safety and security, she needed to have a formal agreement that he would be committed to having her and her offspring be his primary concern. This is where marriage came from. For some women, they refused to “do things that would create offspring” before they had such a formal commitment, for their own safety and security. After this commitment was made, he would provide for and protect her, she would nurture him…back and forth, back and forth. J Next posting: Part 3: “Where things go wrong.”

About Maurice W. Harker, LPC

Director of Life Changing Services, Director of Sons of Helaman, Facilitator of the WORTH group, Consultant for the Daughters of Light program.