Avoiding Relapse: Noticing and Conquering Gradual Melt Downs

Avoiding Relapse:
Noticing and Conquering Gradual Melt Downs

So, today I want to play through a common scenario that we clinicians and coaches experience while working with a warrior who is fighting an addiction.

(You might need to read up on the Satanic Spin and the Chemical Scale in the Complete Sons of Helaman Handbook in order to understand some of the terminology I use here.)

He/She, the warrior, starts out with a great deal of motivation and hope. This can last hours, days or weeks. In many cases, over time and unintentionally, this intensity gradually deteriorates (Level 1). The warrior begins to not FEEL very warrior like (Level 2). When a prompt/text pops up in his/her phone (if he is enrolled in Text Coaching) he quietly hears the question in his mind, “Do you FEEL like answering that question?” The warrior, not realizing that he/she is partially intoxicated/stoned, responds with, “Come to think of it, no, I don’t FEEL like answering that question right now. I will get to it later.”

A handful of these interactions occur, and as the Chemicals continue to drip into the mind, at some point, eventually a prompt/text pops up on the phone, and the FEELING goes from bothersome to annoying, then from annoying to irritating, then from irritating to frustrating. Often and unfortunately, the warrior becomes completely chemically altered (unknowingly) (Level 1), experiences even stronger negative feelings (Level 2), hears an invitation to “do something that will make you feel better” (Level 3), argues with him/herself for a short period of time (Level 4), then finally “F-it” (Level 5).

Then of course, the warrior decides that the prompts/texts don’t actually work, because all they did is irritate the warrior and they lost the battle anyway. This pattern also exists with suggestions made by parents, friends, clinicians, coaches, etc. I have had some cases where a young, would be warrior, spends most of their time having these negative feelings toward others than they spend doing things to reach their own goals in life.

I am very sad for anyone who goes through this cycle. I am very mad about it too. When I discovered that this pattern off chemical release (Level 1), which cause debilitating drifts in feelings (Level 2), which make one vulnerable to unfortunate suggestions in behaviors (Level 3), etc., I became determined to find a way to catch the cycle early enough that warriors could actually win this type of Satanic attack.

Fellow warriors! You are going to have to pay very close attention to how you FEEL, more than how you think. In order to win this war, you are going to have to recognize when you are getting “stoned”. If you try to fight a thought battle (Level 3) while you are “stoned”, you will not stand a chance.

One of the main values of Text Coaching, is that it initiates/prompts a FEELINGS CHECK several times a day. If you notice you are feeling bothered, annoyed, irritated, or frustrated, then you know that you are experiencing chemical reactions (Level 1) stimulated by an intelligent enemy (Satan) with the intent to get you to loose your mind before he suggests doing something stupid (similar to the way alcohol works on a person and yet they still think they can drive a car).

As in the story from the Handbook about the Nephite warriors finding themselves stoned/inebriated, the warrior in this modern day battle is going to have to change his brain chemistry back into warrior mode using warrior chemicals BEFORE he/she tries to fight using thoughts. Here is how I do it (and train others to do it).

First, recognize what is happening to you. “I notice I am feeling bothered, irritated, annoyed and/or frustrated by someone (a coach, clinician, parent, friend, etc) trying to encourage me to do something good. I wonder if Satan is trying to disrupt something that could improve my life.” (A little formal I know, but the actual experience takes only half a second and is not quite as refined.)

Second, I turn my attention directly to Satan, instead of the person who, I have now learned, Satan is trying to cause problems with. I say to Satan something like, “This feeling I am having right now, is that you trying to screw with me?” He always answers the same. He puts his hands up innocently, shakes his head side to side and says something like, “No, not me, I wouldn’t do anything like that.”

Third, I can tell right off the bat that he is lying to me and this shifts my FEELINGS from being negative toward someone who loves and cares about me, to having strong negative feelings toward the JERK. (This begins the release of Warrior Chemistry.)

Fourth, I play it through while talking to Satan. “So let me see if I understand what you are trying to accomplish here. You want me to get all emotional with negative feelings toward someone or something that will actually improve my life, is that right?” (This spills more warrior chemistry into the body.) “Then you are going to propose I do something stupid, right?” (More warrior chemistry) “Then I am going to debate about it like an idiot for a while, right?” (More warrior chemistry) “Then I am going to say ‘F-it’ and do something that I am going to feel stupid about later, right?” By this time the warrior chemistry and its accompanying feelings are very strong. “Well then let’s take this outside and I will crush your head, just like they told me to in the temple!”

When a warriors brain is full of warrior chemistry instead of the contaminated stuff the dark side leaks into the brain, the warrior is excited to respond to the prompts/texts. He/she replies with strength and confidence! Just like a warrior from ancient times, if not chemically altered, his fighting skills, his strength and his values all work with great power like they are supposed to work. I have learned that Satan is too wossy to fight many of the modern day warriors (like you) head on, so he has to cheat by getting you chemically altered before the fight even starts. I invite you to be a little bugged about this!

Fellow warriors! Fight to WANT to wake up your brain and answer the small and simple questions with intelligent responses. Claw your way out of your animal brain and back into your frontal lobe where great things can happen!  If you need intensified training on how to do this, consider Sons of Helaman.

Let me know if you have any questions.

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About Maurice W. Harker, LPC

Director of Life Changing Services, Director of Sons of Helaman, Facilitator of the WORTH group, Consultant for the Daughters of Light program.