“Do you know any way of beating this addiction without having to obsess over it?”

One of my clients asked:  “Do you know any way of beating this addiction without having to obsess over it?”

My reply:

One of the common denominators I find in men with addictions is “drive”.  There seems to be an energy that I compare sometimes to water coming down the side of a mountain.  There is a canyon near my house that is relatively steep because of the quick elevation of the mountains around it.  As water gathers momentum, it gathers energy.  If harnessed correctly, water can be used to produce amazing power (as seen by dams and water wheels.  If fast flowing water is not harnessed, it can cause great damage – as happened many years ago in my home town at the bottom of the same canyon.

Sex energy is like water, it is neither good nor bad.  Some are “blessed” with stronger “water energy” than others.  Out of control it destroys, harnessed it can produce amazing things.  I am not the first author to teach that sex energy can be used for good (see “Think and Grow Rich by  Napoleon Hill).  An individual who discovers that he has a sexual addiction will not be able to stop the power of the flow of energy.  He is going to have to redirect it, and yes, it will take more work (obsession/dedication) than it will take a different individual with less water energy.

So, in many cases, the warrior is going to have to work to a degree that feels almost like an obsession (like an olympic athlete preparing for the olympics), if he is going to get his water energy to flow down a path that is constructive instead of destructive.  He is going to have to build a path for his energy to flow down.  The path, in order to be sufficiently effective, is going to have to be something good, and something big!  He will have to become passionate about it.  I think of individuals like Moses “I think I will go help the Isrealites get away from Egypt”, or like Joseph Smith, “I think I will help restore the church.” 

We have been told for several decades now that this generation has been held in reserve for some of the most important work in the history of the world.  Satan is using the most powerful method of sabotage the world has ever know with these sexual addictions.  He (Satan) is afraid these warriors will actually succeed!!!  What if they realize who they really are?!?!  What if these young men (and women) actually believe that they are the chosen ones?!?!?

Okay then, here is what needs to be done about it..  It seems that an unignorable factor must be replacing the obsession with constructive obsessions – what I call “passion projects”.  You will need to become intense about doing relevant good things.  Compare it to fasting.  When fasting, every time you feel hunger pains, if done correctly, instead of obsessing over the food you are not eathing, you turn your attention to the purpose of your fast (ex. the healing of a loved one).  Because you are going without food, you notice you are hungry more often than on a normal day.  If you switch the focus of your heart and mind to the needs of your loved one each time you have a hunger pain, your attention  on the loved one becomes more frequent and more intense thatn it would have been on a day with normal eating patterns.

The same principles applies to “fasting” from sexual misconduct.  If, each time the drive to misbehave surfaces, you successfully turn your attention toward your passion projects , then you will have greater success in your passion projects than you would have had otherwise.  Over time, your brain (neurological pathways) flows more naturally in this newly developed direction.  Most people underestimate how much work this takes.  Imagine trying to redirect the water coming through the canyon.  You are going to have to dig a new path and redirect the water.  Probably, many times over, the water is going to push it’s way back to it’s “natural” direction.  While going down the natural, unharnessed path, it produces no powerful energy.  With hard, obsessive level work, over and over and over again, turning attention to a project that will make the world a better place, the addictive behaviors can be avoided for a very long time.  I should know.  I have had to do it myself.

Let me know if you have any questions or comments.


About Maurice W. Harker, LPC

Director of Life Changing Services, Director of Sons of Helaman, Facilitator of the WORTH group, Consultant for the Daughters of Light program.