Struggling with a Sex Addiction? A young man's success story.

Why do I even care about Sons of Helaman?  Is it even really important?
Yes, I care.  Yes, it’s important.
I remember coming home from my mission.  It felt so good to be home and to be moving forward with my life, and yet… I had one unresolved problem. 
Daily I worried about it, felt guilty about it, and wanted to be rid of it.  I hated myself for being so stupid and wicked and felt so lost and hopeless.  How will I ever marry the perfect girl in the temple if I’m such a bad sinner?  I had received counsel not to beat myself up too badly for it, but that still didn’t solve the problem.  There was still guilt embedded in my heart; every re-occurrence engrained it even more.  I was so afraid to seek professional help.  It hurt so much to think that I would have to be in the room with other guys, and they would all know.  Maybe my family would find out, and I didn’t want to disappoint them.  I knew it would hurt my Mom, she looked up to me so much.  I knew it would break her heart, I didn’t want to do that.  I would fix it on my own, then I would tell her—afterwords.
But time after time, my efforts to quit failed.  The addiction continued, and every day I became more depressed.  I finally talked with my bishop, but still didn’t want to go to counseling.  Still, things didn’t improve, and I decided to tell my Mom.  I did.  Suprisingly, she didn’t get mad, and she didn’t even cry.  She listened and understood and told me she wanted to be by my side to help me overcome the addiction.  With the added support of my Mom and my bishop I finally gained enough courage to talk with a counselor.  My Bishop recommended Maurice, so my Mom set up an appointment (yes, I’m a returned missionary and my Mom set up the appointment, that’s how ashamed I was), and I drove to a counselor I’d never met.  My stomach felt like a rock.  I almost turned around and just gave up, but something pushed me forward.  I hated how I felt.  I wanted to be clean, and nothing else mattered.  I knew it would be hard, people might find out and look down on me, but even that didn’t matter any more, I just had to get rid of this addiction.  I couldn’t do it anymore, either it had to end, or I would.
I went to the wrong place, at first, and almost turned around to go home.  But I didn’t.  I knew I had to do something, anything, to overcome this.  I arrived at the office and met with a man I later grew to respect and love.  At the time he seemed a little quirky, very straightforward, and I wasn’t too sure I believed all of his “half-baked” philosophies on sexual-addictions.  But as I listened, something inside me told me not to run, but to stay and listen.  So I did.  Something felt right.  For the first time in a long time I felt hope,  this man knew a way out, and I could join in.  I could be free.
I stayed afterwords for part of a group session and was so surprised to see how open and friendly and happy all of the boys seemed.  I wanted what they had.  I decided to join the Sons of Helaman group, and that was one of the best decisions of my life.
I don’t know if I can fully describe how much my life has changed.  I realized that what I first thought were “half-baked” ideas were actually true principles of understanding and fighting the adversary.  I learned of their truth because I saw their fruits in my life.  I became so free and happy.  I’d forgotten how good it felt to be clean; I’d forgotten how liberating it felt.  With my new freedom, I blossomed.  I discovered skills and talants that were previously hidden by the stress of dealing with an addiction—I didn’t have time to worry about my addiction as well as improve myself like this.  My relationships became amazingly open and enjoyable.  They also were deepened to levels I didn’t know existed.  Every area of my life improved because I gave up my addiction, and I thank Sons of Helaman for that.
I encourage every young man who feels like I did to seek help. Talk with your bishop, he loves you and will keep this confidential.  Talk with your parents, they love you too and won’t think less of you for being honest and asking for help.  If you need further help, visit with a clinician from Sons of Helaman, or even you can join the text-coaching, which is still one of my keys to winning.  I’m a general now, and I’m fighting hard to pay back everything Sons of Helaman gave to me. 
Just do it!

About Maurice W. Harker, LPC

Director of Life Changing Services, Director of Sons of Helaman, Facilitator of the WORTH group, Consultant for the Daughters of Light program.