The following is an effort to analyze a recent lost battle written by one of my students. It is a valiant effort, but within the text of his writing, I will address what is lacking or is inaccurate about his analysis. It invite the reader to observe that this discussion can apply to any type of lost battle, whether it be eating chocolate, breaking a diet plan, sexual addiction, drugs, alcohol, etc. The warrior’s words are in italics. My comments are in this normal text. To understand my comments, you will need to read the Handbook.
Today was a stupid loss.
Right off the bat, he is attributing to himself weakness, instead of attributing to Satan strength and intelligence.
It was not what I intended today.
Recognition that he was in an altered state of mind – what we call “Stoned”.
From start to finish it was over in 5 minutes.
Level 5: F-it – nothing really to talk about at this point.
5 minutes is all it takes to ruin my building momentum.
This moment is one of the most important in how this warrior succeeds in the future. There are two categories of emotion the warrior could experience with the awareness of having momentum lost. As with an athlete, if he starts to feel hopeless, or self-deprecating, he will start to fall apart. If he is aware of the skills of an opponent, he can become ferociously determined to figure out what the opponent was able to put together in the form of a strategy, and create an even more amazing strategy – combine it with focused ferocity and go on to dominate.
This client has a tendency to be very responsible, even Over responsible. It never ceases to amaze me how Satan will take advantage of either end of a personality spectrum. Satan will easily manipulate a person who avoids responsibility, but he can also work with an Over Responsible person. This is unexpected by some people, and when it is unexpected, it falls into the “The serpent was the most subtle of all the beast of the field” category.
In this case, this Over responsible warrior is taking ALL the credit for his lost battles and is not giving Satan credit for his role in the battle. If this warrior will give Satan credit, he will look for remember to look for the Level 1 phase (that you will find described in the my e-booklet on page ___). He needs to increase his Spirit of Discernment to look for his subtle biochemical shifts and his emotional condition. Like most men (as you will see below), he is attending to his actions (Level 5) and to some degree his thoughts (Level 3). He recently sent me a very good write up on fighting battles. This write up is good, but it still does not attend to the 2 most basic elements of fighting this war – the Satanic factor, and the chemical factor. Let’s read on.
I had written a detailed plan of how I was going to win 12 days in a row. Just 12 days. The goal is a modest one. I had a detailed plan for how my mornings would go and how I would win.
Last night I went trick or treating with the family I used to work for. I was a little annoyed
This is a Level 2. It is good that he noticed it, but he did not give it sufficient credit.
to have to drive up to the Bountiful area. I was hoping to go food shopping and finish organizing my room. But the visit was a good one. I am glad that I went.
It appears that his emotions and chemicals balanced out.
I made it home on time, I wrote a brief but solid letter to my future wife. I have been writing those since early August. I like to review the day, my feelings, and a little bit about how I will win the next day. I suppose it was a bit rushed and not as thorough as it could have been.
This morning I got up on time and had plenty of time to get ready. I decided to drive and not ride the train so I had time to lay in my bed and read the Book of Mormon.
I don’t know if this warrior has ever noticed how unwise it is to read in bed in the morning, but I would read this as a mix of good with bad, a common Satanic strategy.
I read 1 Nephi 22. I had a brilliant revelation. I was reading verse 26 and it speaks of the millennium. Satan will be bound not because he will be locked up and cast out but BECAUSE OF THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE PEOPLE.
I had the idea that Satan can be bound in terms of beating me because I will pay no attention to him and his temptations. Maurice has been doing this for years.
I am glad he wrote this because it reveals an inaccurate understanding of what I have been trying to teach him. If we are Nephites in Book of Mormon times, we cannot afford to pay no attention to the Lamanites. We must actively watch for an prepare for them. I use the almost constant listening to the words of the prophets primarily as “walls” to protect my mind, but also as a forge for new weapons. Also, this listening trains me in the ways of both the power of God and the power of Satan, so I can fight with precision.
He keeps his mind continually fresh with the words of the Prophets. It is now obvious to me that I am going to have to get some sort of MP3 device or something and have constant nourishment of the good word. My brain is still EASILY triggered. I feel my threshold is super low. It takes hardly anything to arouse me and bring me to complete Mr. M. (about 5 minutes tops). Should I be proud of my excellent times??
Even as I drove to work I listened to a book on CD that discusses the atonement. I was feeling pretty dang good. Perhaps I was getting a little too confident. I got to work early. About 10 minutes. I guess it isn’t good to be too early because that means I am alone before anyone else gets there. I was hoping to check email and maybe send some emails to friends before the official work day began.
Good efforts, but notice in his analysis, he is still primarily discussing his actions, and not his feelings/mood (Level 2s) or chemical shifts (Level 1s). Again, I would venture to say, his Spirit of Discernment has not yet been sharpened enough to sense these things.
I got an email update from Amazon. I order good books on Amazon every now and then.
Wandering aimlessly. Think like a sniper war. Is there ever an option to drop your guard? Perhaps we resent the need to be so vigilant. I remind my clients, people who were born into battle zones do not have a choice, and do not take time to resent it. They learn to do what you have to do, or you are dead.
Today, the spirit faintly poked me not to click on the link. I did anyway
(Level 4: too stoned to fight back).
My brain seemed to be a bit automatic. As I was looking at some of the books that were recommended based on what I had done before, the temptation to click on the clothing link hit me
A second Level 3:Dude moment
and go to women’s intimate apparel. The rest is sort of history at that point. It was all over pretty quick. Full act out. Dang it!! I knew I had blown my goal. I went to the bathroom to clean up and also to pray. That was a stupid loss.
Self-blame – not helpful.
It seems that I lose often in the mornings. I realize that checking email right at 7 am is probably not a good idea. I will make it a goal not to start clicking on email or any links that are not specifically for work for the first hour.
Where is the conversation about the involvement of Satan? Have you been tricked into believing that this is a war between your Spirit self and your Body self, and there are no other intelligent participants? One of the important questions in the Captain’s Log is carefully crafted, “When you lost, what technique did the enemy use to defeat you?” You will notice that this does not say, “When you lost, what did you do wrong?” Self-loathing and frustration are two strong emotions that Satan wants to stimulate within us. Those two emotions and any emotions like unto them involve chemicals that make the brain more vulnerable/susceptible to future attacks. Anger at self is not productive “a house divided against itself cannot stand”. We must focus our anger/fighting energy outward – toward the actual culprit. We must gain a testimony of our own goodness – we would never pick self destruction for ourselves by choice. We will only choose it when an outside force suggests it and distorts us to the point where we consider it both attractive and of sufficient value to pursue.
I respond to a text at 720 and I have an alarm at 9 pm. I will not even log on to the computer until I have read my oath and said a prayer. If I do this for the next few weeks, it will become a habit. Maybe I will get in the habit of completely closing down my computer every evening so that in the morning it will be obvious when I come in the morning to prepare myself. I will put a post it note on my mouse every evening that will remind me to pray and prepare in the morning.
This losing at work business is ridiculous. This could lead to some major disasters.
Today, I am going to work extra effective. I will work out at lunch. I will organize this Saturday’s dinner group and contact the people in the group. I will email and possibly call the girls. It will help my brain to take charge and do that.
After work, I will go food shopping. In the evening I want to read some good articles on addiction that I found on a site by a recovered addict. I will read some of step 1 and 2 of the 12 steps. Tonight will be a regeneration night. I will still finish out the week. I will prepare extra carefully. I will write a long letter to wife (30 mins) and describe how it is that I lost. I will make a better plan for Wednesday. I am going to take an amiga out to lunch tomorrow.
This was a stupid loss and there are probably more complicated things going on inside of me, but I still want to stay true to my battle plan, keep border patrol tight, vigilance at all hours of the day, rely on God, and win every day until Sunday. There is no other option.
Oh, and tomorrow I am going to go to SA at 6 am. It will be worth it. I want to be committed to going every week rain or snow!!!
The planning of his actions are impressive, but he has not identified times and locations where he is probably going to be in the zone between Levels 1-3: Chemical, Feeling/Mood increase. If this warrior is going to win in the future, he is going to have to move the battlefield. He is a smart man. He is skilled with action. So it does not surprise me that he tries to fight where he is strong. Unfortunately, all warriors are going to have to learn how to fight on all levels. The enemy has changed his attack strategy to a level we never before thought possible. If he is going to hit the basic elements of out body chemistry, we cannot ignore it.
My writing today is very disjuncted and will reading the Handbook is a prerequisite to understanding many of the things I refer to. Let me know if you have any questions.