“I am Afraid to Tell…”

“I am afraid to tell my Bishop and/or my parents.”

I was pondering what feelings and thoughts a young man is experiencing when he says something like the statement above, when a memory of something I heard several years ago came to my mind.  It was a rather disturbing memory, but the more I pondered the similarities, the more accurate it became.  It was the memory of something I had learned in another professional setting.  
When interviewing children who had experienced unfortunate things at the hands of unfortunate adults, the children said they were told things like…

“Don’t tell your parents, or else…”

“You can’t tell, because you are the dirty, filthy, child who brought this upon yourself.”

“If you hadn’t wanted it in the first place, it wouldn’t have happened.”

“They will reject you for the filth you are if they find out.”

      As I have interviewed young men who are enslaved by addiction to pornography and masturbation and are afraid to go to their parents or their ecclesiastical leaders for help, I have become more and more confident that there is a Dark Entity like unto a skilled pedophile putting phrases similar to the ones listed into their minds.  Satan has had several thousands of years to practice the art and science of doing so.  He can make his voice sound just like the voice of the young man.  The young man becomes convinced that he is talking to himself.
      Most children who have experienced ongoing sexual abuse really do think it is their own fault for some time.  In many cases, it is almost impossible to convince them otherwise.  It is a very unpleasant dynamic. Satan has a great fear of how important the young man can become if he finds out he is not doing this to himself.  You can often measure how much Satan fears a young man by how intense the attacks are.
      To the Young Men:  Be brave and read closely the lines in italics on the previous page.  Now read them as if they are being spoken to one of your little brothers or sisters by a man in a trench coat.  How would you feel toward the man in the trench coat?  How would you feel toward your younger sibling?
      Satan is like the man in the trench coat, except he is meaner and more ruthless.  Your brain is like a little brother, young and vulnerable.  Your brain is designed to have more than one “voice”, and one “voice”, when necessary, can protect another.  To win the mental battle described above, you must awaken the part of your brain that is naturally conditioned to fight for the protection of women and children.  Don’t just push such thoughts away.  You wouldn’t just push the man in the trench coat away.  You would send an unignorable message that he should never, ever, consider messing with you and your loved ones again!
      My young Brethren, do not believe the lies you are being told.  Run to your parents!  Run to your bishop!  They love you as you love your younger siblings.  They will not consider you to be less than what you are!  They understand Satan and will join you in the fight against him.  We have found the weapons necessary to beat him and this addiction!  It takes training, but it can be done.
      If you don’t know what to say, just show them this page.  It will speak for you.  They will rejoice with relief that you asked for help, in the same way you would rejoice with relief if your younger sibling asked you for help.

About Maurice W. Harker, LPC

Director of Life Changing Services, Director of Sons of Helaman, Facilitator of the WORTH group, Consultant for the Daughters of Light program.