Stabilizing a Relationship: The Wheel Thrown Pottery Principle

Free Conference Call
“Mid-day on Monday”
20 January at noon

[The recording of this Conference is now available for $10. Text “Pottery” to 8015585952]

This article has become quite popular among my readers and clients.  On Monday the 20th, I will be focusing the topic of our “Mid-day on Monday” conference call on this topic and other marital issues.  Put it on your calendar and let your friends know.

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Stabilizing a

(Or at least
stabilizing yourself!)
The Wheel Thrown
Pottery Principle
The Clothes Washer Pattern
                When I
was in my early years of college, I took a wheel thrown pottery class.  I was really excited to learn that creative
form of art.   I hope it doesn’t shock
any of you but back then I was a bit of an arrogant young man. I just wanted to
teacher to get out of the way and let me take over with the wheel.  I had a wise and observant teacher who correctly
discerned my disposition.  He could see
my impatience, so he did just that and he got out of the way to let me have at

                So, I
took my cube of clay and slapped in on the wheel just like he did then, “flatten,
center, lift”, just like he did…right? 
Not!  There was something wrong
with my clay!  (It couldn’t be my
fault.)  My instructor watched me out of
the corner of his eye while he worked with other students.  He might have had a smirk on his face.

about 20 minutes of this proud determination, I finally decided to be humble
enough to ask for help.  I raised my
hand.  He was a kind and patient man and
skillfully taught me what was wrong.

said, “Maurice, the problem is not your hands or your strength, the problem is
your elbow.”  My facial response showed
that I thought he was crazy.  He went on
to explain.  “You might not notice this,
but when I am at the wheel, the first thing I do is make sure my right foot is
tight and solid on the ground.  Then I
make sure my right elbow is tightly settled inside my right knee.  Then I use my right hand against the clay
similar to the way an old record player works. 
The shape of the clay then has to move against a solid wall.”

                He went
on, “What you have been doing wrong is by having both arms and elbows free, it
creates flexibility to accommodate the out-of-balance spin in the same way that
the springs in a clothes washer accommodate an out-of-balance spin.  The springs don’t fix it, they just allow for

                As a
relationships therapist, I see the same things over and over again with the
couples I work with.  They react and
react and react to each other.  This is
with both good behaviors and bad behaviors.

If a relationship is going to
become centered, before it is lifted to greatness, instead of reacting to each other,
at least one, if not both, are going to have to live by something more solid
than their partner.  At least one of the
two is going to have to anchor themselves into something stronger than
themselves and stick with it.  At least one
of them is going to have to choose their thoughts and actions based on
Character, not based on reacting to their partner.  At least one of the two is going to have to
anchor themselves into a set of Eternal Principles and a Divine Source of
wisdom and power.

If you would like more control,
less drama and more stability, I strongly recommend that one be

Click HERE to hear Maurice teach this concept.

More recordings available HERE.

more information on improving relationships read
By Maurice
W. Harker

About Maurice W. Harker, LPC

Director of Life Changing Services, Director of Sons of Helaman, Facilitator of the WORTH group, Consultant for the Daughters of Light program.