How do I get my young warrior to meet with one of the Sons of Helaman trainers?

have a young man who I feel needs

of Helaman training.
How do
I get him to meet with one of
Sons of Helaman trainers?”
Mom, Dad, Bishop:
As you have already noticed, it is really hard to know what
to say to a young man in these sensitive situations.  Below is a template for a brief thought you
can share with your young warrior.  For
best results, copy the text below onto a separate page then adjust the wording
a little to match the way you talk more closely. Then either read it to him in
a private moment, or simply print it off and either leave it on his pillow or
hand it to him in person.
“To our Warrior:
I am so proud of how hard you have been working on your
own to win your personal battles.  I
cannot comprehend how hard this has been for you.  It must be very painful for you that you have
not found as much success as you have wanted. 
I am confident that you have tried very hard.
I have gotten to know someone who is a specialist in
training young men to win these battles. 
I don’t know if it will be a good fit for you, but I want you to just
meet him.  If it doesn’t work out, then
we will try something different.  I will
make arrangements for you to meet this trainer, okay?”
If he says okay, or says nothing at all (this is often how
young men agree to difficult things), give us a call at 877-HERO-877, and we
will get you set up with the right Sons of Helaman trainer.
Notes to parent – why this invitation to the young man is
written this way. 
One of the most important developmental issues for young men
is to prove that they can do things without help.  Instinctually, they are driven to demonstrate
that they have the competence to take care of a wife and children in just a few
years.  To prove this competence, they
need to show they can win their battles without help.  This is why they are reluctant to seek help
on their own.
When I meet a new young man and his parents, I ask, “Are you
here by choice or were you forced?”  I
have learned that the healthiest response is, “Both”.  When a young warrior is losing confidence in
himself, he becomes sporadically willing to receive help, but if he shows
enthusiasm for specialized training, it would be declaring that he is not smart
or strong.  He is in a tough
situation.  The script above helps him
get through this double bind.
Emphasize that you are “just going to meet” our Professional
Trainers instead of the idea that you want to enroll your young man in a
program.  Most young men with these
issues are already hypersensitive with their self-confidence.  Enrolling them in a program can feel like
just one more threat to their esteem. 
All of our trainers a specialists in working with youth.  In the first visit, the trainer will both
build a relationship of trust with your young man and will assess whether or
not Sons of Helaman training is the best resource for the situation.  Sometimes less is recommended.  Sometimes more.
It is also important to describe our trainers as trainers
instead of therapists.  Although all of
them are therapist, young men are more willing to be trained than they are to “go
to therapy.”
We invite all parents to call the Sons of Helaman Trainer
that lives nearest to you, and spend 5-10 minutes getting to know him and
feeling his spirit.  Click [HERE]
for that listing.  If you don’t live near
one of our existing in-person groups, call 877-HERO-877.  Ask that one of our long distance trainers
contact you and ask that we get a Sons of Helaman group set up in your area.  The more calls we get, the faster we work to
get set up in your area.
I hope this information helps your young warriors come out
of their private agony.
We are here to serve!
Maurice Harker and the Sons of Helaman team


About Maurice W. Harker, LPC

Director of Life Changing Services, Director of Sons of Helaman, Facilitator of the WORTH group, Consultant for the Daughters of Light program.