Mentor and Life Coach
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Hi my name is Jared and I’m a hypocrite.
I was born and raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Ever since I was a little boy I’ve had a strong testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel Jesus Christ. I cannot remember a single time when I have ever doubted the power of His atonement or His ability to save even the worst, truly repentant sinner. However, for the last 20 years I’ve been struggling with an addiction to pornography and masturbation. These have remained the core sins that I’ve struggled with, but these have allowed other sins to root their way into my life such as having impure thoughts, lying, deceiving, and many more. It has led to the brink of the destruction of my marriage and family.
For so many years, I could feel the weight of my past sins and so many failures in trying to overcome my addiction like an anchor wrapped around my neck. I have tried, really, 20 times, 50 times, 100 times, and yet I’ve never found lasting success. Gradually, I felt my faith starting to become extinguished. Never my knowledge, I could never deny that I knew Christ’s atonement was real…
I just started to believe that it could never apply to me.
Now that you know about what I’ve done, and amazingly you’re still reading this, Let me tell you who I really am. My identity: I’m the husband of a wonderful wife. I’m a father to 3 amazing children. I’m a veteran of the US Air Force. I’m a teacher, I am a coach. I am a motivator. I am a leader. I am a saint (which is just a sinner who keeps on trying). I am a child of God, destined for greatness, born to be ruler in the eternities.
Yet, somehow I keep forgetting this…no, not somehow this was intentional. conceived by design by the enemy of my soul.
I am an intellectual, with a lot of pride. With that, I have always had trouble viewing satan as a valid enemy that you could fight. I felt silly talking to him, even if I was alone. I could never picture a human-like figure whispering thoughts into my ear, I always just assumed it was me. I mean it sounded like me. It was my head, my thoughts, my wants right? There is an old quote that I love that states:
“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”—Charles Baudelaire
I have always thought that there was something wrong with me or my brain, and that I could never win because I was attempting to argue with myself. I never took the time to look and analyze the thoughts in my mind. I would just try to argue, convince, or ignore (which never works by the way). I was so easily confused by the conflicting wants that I was feeling. On one hand, I wanted to be a good husband and father, on the other hand I wanted my poison to numb my uncomfortable feelings. It’s easy to be confused about what you want, but there is a clear difference between the things we value and the occasional craving, and we often don’t make the distinction. I value being a trustworthy husband. I value being an example to my children. I value proclaiming worthiness to enter the Lord’s house. I crave stupid things that waste my time and add no value to my life, and detract from the work I put in to trying to reprogram my brain.
I’m tired of getting beat by the same old trick. I’m done with not knowing what I want in this life. And so it’s here that I begin my journey, no longer apathetic about my situation, no longer confused about what thoughts are mine and what thoughts are placed in my mind. I know that I have the ability to do great good in this world and that I was put on this earth, during this time, for a purpose. I have the potential to help so many other men as I continue in my own battle. I know satan knows this and he has done everything in his power to stifle me and make me forget who I really am and what I actually want. For years this tactic has worked against me. But not anymore. I’m ready to take a stand. I’m ready to embrace my true identity. I’m ready to face satan and recognize that even though he has powers on this earth, that I have the power to crush his head.
Will you join me?
Please contact Jared directly to schedule one on one coaching.
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