“He will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. … And he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:11–12).
Because the Savior experienced all of our pains and afflictions, He understands how to comfort and support us perfectly.
His atonement was not only for sin, but for sorrow, sickness, and every form of human suffering. He offers mercy and healing, especially in our darkest and most personal trials.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught:
“We cannot control and we are not responsible for the choices of others, even when they impact us so painfully. I am sure the Lord loves and blesses husbands and wives who lovingly try to help spouses struggling with such deep problems as pornography or other compulsive behavior or with the long-term consequences of childhood abuse.
Whatever the outcome and no matter how difficult your experiences, you have the promise that you will not be denied the blessings of eternal family relationships if you love the Lord, keep His commandments, and just do the best you can” (“Divorce,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2007, 73).
Personal Reflection
My expectations and dreams have been deeply affected by my loved one’s choices.
Every time he doesn’t come home when he says he will, my mind spirals—wondering if he’s hurt, in jail, in a hospital, or worse. I think of all the broken promises, the missed appointments, and the many times I waited, only to be let down.
Over time, I’ve become emotionally numb.
I avoid getting excited because I’ve been disappointed too many times. Joy and happiness have faded. When we got married, I expected difficulty because of his past.
I believed I could handle hard things. What I didn’t anticipate was the emotional rollercoaster of the last two years, which has pushed me far beyond what I thought I could bear.
The thing I learned was that if I let go and let God, things turned out better than I could have expected. Instead of trying to control by making things easier. I only made it harder for both of us.
When I went to the temple, I was made aware of what to do. I prayed to keep him safe and set up boundaries. When the boundaries were broken I found legal ways to reinforce my boundaries.
He had to spend time in prison and chose to do recovery while there. I don’t think our life will be a bed of roses. I’m expecting some bumps and bruises, but if I put it in to the Lord’s hands we will end up where we’re supposed to be.
Life Changing Services guest blogger. This person wanted to remain anonymous, but still express her thoughts so others could learn from them.
