Some people say that when you have fear, you should just do it anyway. This advice can be effective if used correctly in certain situations.
However, it often fails when applied as a blanket statement, assuming it will work in any scenario where we feel fear.
Instead of blindly taking action like playing pin the tail on the donkey, how can we make wiser choices?
How can we act based on our values rather than our preferences and moods?
How do we accomplish what we want but haven’t yet done?
When you haven’t done something you want to do, why not?
There could be many reasons, or perhaps just one significant one.
It might trace back to childhood trauma, leading to ADHD as a coping mechanism, or it could stem from a lack of self-belief.
You might think, “Why would I do that? I don’t feel confident and fear failure.”
If data shows that you aren’t doing something, then without shame or bias, something isn’t working.
So, what isn’t working, and why?
This approach can be helpful for some. Ask yourself, “What false thought am I believing at any given time?” Take time to notice your thoughts and let your beliefs surface so you can see them. Then, replace them with truths.
Can you feel a difference when you tell yourself the truth? If not, keep practicing and drilling.
For example, if you believe you need to make something perfect, replace it with the thought, “I don’t need perfection; I need a prayer to God, my effort to try, and His ability to consecrate my performance.”
You might feel a physical difference from thinking that, or it may take time for the thought to take root and sprout.
Failing actually takes skill. For people like me, failure can stir up emotional particles inside. For example, when I fail, how will I handle or think about that failure?
It might trigger thoughts and feelings that make me believe I am not good enough, that I am a failure, or that what I have to say is not valuable.
These are core wounds that hibernate inside my psyche, splinters in my side as Paul puts it. But these are my splinters.
Getting started might create some momentum, but how do I stay the course to finish? How do I avoid starting yet another task that gets abandoned like thousands before?
Notice the catastrophic thinking that breeds fear, shame, and doubt. This poisons the well instead of recognizing what you did do.
Just because you couldn’t figure out the next step before doesn’t mean you can’t figure it out next time.
In fact, the opposite is true: because you figured out the first step, it proves you can, and you can use the same pattern for the next challenge.
By Life Changing Services Guest Blogger, Brad Anderson. If you would like to contact Brad, you can text him at 570-244-1317.
