I have a hobby of finding rough rocks and turning them into polished stones. I cut them,
shape them, polish them, and refine them to bring out the beauty hidden inside.
Over time, I’ve learned that not every stone responds the way I want it to. Some won’t take the shape I
had in mind. Some crack under pressure. Others force me to stop and completely change
what I’m doing with them.
Each stone starts the same way. I identify the rough rock, choose a general shape, cut it, and
begin shaping it in preparation for polishing. Once the shape is set, I take the stone through
a series of polishing stations.
The process begins with a coarse grit and moves through progressively finer grits—six stages in all—followed by a leather polishing wheel and a final buffer.
As I sat at my polishing station, taking stone after stone through this process, I noticed
something important. Sometimes the stone still didn’t turn out the way I hoped. When that
happened, I didn’t throw it away. I went back to the first wheel and started the refining
process again. Many times, I had to repeat this more than once before I was satisfied with
the result.
While I worked, a simple thought came to me: we are a lot like these stones.
Each of us is made of a different substance. Some people seem to come into life with natural
strengths that require very little refining. Others—like me—require more shaping, more
polishing, and more time. That doesn’t make one stone better than another. It simply means
the process looks different.
The scriptures teach that “the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (Doctrine and
Covenants 18:10). Worth is not earned through refinement; it already exists. Refinement is
about becoming—not proving.
Life itself becomes the refining process. We are placed on the wheel and moved through
stages—like different grits. These grits represent adversity, disappointment, loss,
correction, and growth. Each stage removes something. Each stage is uncomfortable. But
each stage prepares us for the next one.
Isaiah recorded the Lord’s words: “I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen
thee in the furnace of affliction” (Isaiah 48:10). Refinement is rarely gentle, but it is
purposeful.
In the Book of Mormon, Ether taught that the Lord gives us weakness so that we may be
humble, and that weakness can become strength through grace (Ether 12:27). Weakness is
not failure—it is raw material.
Sometimes we think we should be “done” by now. But
just like with stones, the process often requires us to return to earlier stages. That doesn’t
mean the work was wasted. It means more depth is being created.
President Russell M. Nelson has taught that spiritual progress is a process, not an event, and
that the Lord honors persistent effort. We grow “line upon line, precept upon precept” (2
Nephi 28:30).
As I worked, I began to picture God at each wheel—patient, attentive, and fully aware of the
nature of the stone He was shaping. He knows how much pressure to apply. He knows when
to slow the process. He knows when to move us forward.
The Bible teaches that we are the work of His hands (Psalm 127:1), and modern revelation
reminds us that God’s work and glory is to bring about our immortality and eternal life
(Moses 1:39).
God does not abandon His work when resistance appears. He adjusts the approach.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has taught that God is more concerned with who we are becoming
than where we have been. Refinement is not punishment—it is preparation.
Each of us has a unique substance and a unique beauty. God’s work is not to make us all the
same, but to bring out the best in who we already are. As we submit to the
process—sometimes willingly, sometimes reluctantly—we become more whole.
Over time, the rough edges soften. Clarity increases. Depth appears. And the beauty that was
always there begins to show.
That is the refining process. And it is sacred.
Article by Kyle Elder,
Psychologist, PhD, SPC
You can contact Kyle via call or text at +1 (385) 216-8421
