Triggers vs Alarms

woman feeling sad as she is triggered by something

In modern psychology, the term “triggers” refers to stimuli or events that evoke strong emotional or behavioral reactions in individuals, often associated with past traumatic experiences or deeply ingrained associations.

Overriding Fear in Marriage Repair

woman who looks like she's going crazy with negative thoughts!

The struggle with intrusive thoughts can be a significant roadblock in the intricate world of relationships. Many of us, grounded in faith, understand these uninvited, often negative thoughts as attacks from Satan, meant to distort our perception and disrupt our decision-making process. These spiritual attacks can push us to dwell on worst-case scenarios and overlook […]

Using “The Pattern for Growth” to Fine-tune the Agile Checklist for Becoming Better Husbands

upward growth chart

How can we apply organizational principles and the wisdom of living prophets to become better spouses?  This article explores this concept, blending the principles from Atul Gawande’s “The Checklist Manifesto,” Agile project management methodology, and the “Pattern for Growth” as provided by our faith in an effort to become better Presiding Husbands. **Simplicity in Complexity** Navigating the […]

8 Steps to Mastering the Art of Presiding in Marriage

husband, wife and family

Once, I thought that marriage was about dividing responsibilities and tasks, but I realized that approach was leading to a cohabitation-style marriage. We lived together, but we weren’t harmoniously linked as a couple.  Through studying hundreds of couples and prayerfully considering the prophets’ teachings, I have discovered a more harmonious approach to marriage. The following […]

Torment

Man with hand on woman's shoulder as she struggles with something like betrayal trauma

As we strive to strengthen ourselves and our marriages, it is important to remember that Satan is always watching and waiting for an opportunity to strike. In 1 Peter 5:8, it says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” We must […]

Celestial Orientation

compass pointing north

Several years ago, I was pondering what it must be like for a woman, who thought she was in a good and stable marriage, to discover her husband has been participating in significant sexual misbehaviors that are traumatizing to the marriage.   I had recently stood on the east bank of the Mississippi river at […]

Working on Emotional Intimacy – Discussing the Past

Husband and Wife together

Emotional Intimacy is one of the hardest phases of the entire process of rebuilding and repairing your marriage. You will need to be able to skillfully keep the Spirit present during conversations, and skillfully retreat and regroup if things start to fall apart.

Sex as a Reward?

woman upset with man

A common question asked of me in my work with women who have experienced betrayal trauma or sexual trauma is something like, “What role is sexuality supposed to play in a healthy relationship?”  

Marital Repair Case Study #1

storm on radar

(The words of the wife are in italics.) I was able to have another chat with my husband last night where I calmly explained my distance of late is due to  working through pain and past hurts.   I explained that, just like when you get a serious burn, in the moment it hurts but […]

The Line-Upon-Line Relapse Prevention Intervention For Couples

Sad couple during a relapse

How am I supposed to handle it when my husband  has a “lost battle”?   (A “lost battle” is a term used in the Men of Moroni as well as other recovery programs within Life Changing Services. For this article, a battle is “lost” when the husband chooses to engage in, or act with behaviors […]