Agreeing to disagree is a false notion. It is sweeping all those little issues under the rug, but over time someone moves that rug and we still have to deal with it.
Several years ago, I was pondering what it must be like for a woman, who thought she was in a good and stable marriage, to discover her husband has been participating in significant sexual misbehaviors that are traumatizing to the marriage. I had recently stood on the east bank of the Mississippi river at […]
When a relationship experiences trauma, it is like an airplane crash. The one who does the betraying is like the pilot and engineer of the plane, and the injured party is like the passenger.
Emotional Intimacy is one of the hardest phases of the entire process of rebuilding and repairing your marriage. You will need to be able to skillfully keep the Spirit present during conversations, and skillfully retreat and regroup if things start to fall apart.
One of the most telling indicators that a relationship is ready to make an attempt at Season 1: Courtship, is if both are healed enough and recovered enough to bring value into the relationship.
The following is just one of over 100 lessons taught in the Marriage Repair Workshop: The Lazarus Lectures – by Maurice W. Harker, CMHC and team.
What to do when you are an inadequate spouse. What to do when you have an inadequate spouse. As I have experienced my personal agony of not being enough in many circumstances…
The correlation (not causation) of the overuse of pornography to criminal behavior. As a therapist who worked with the sex offender/general population I would do generalized assessments of each prisoner.
Parents play an integral part in establishing healthy attachment and developing balanced intimacy for children. Here are three guidelines to help teach children. Parents play an integral part in establishing healthy attachment and developing balanced intimacy for our children. According to Walker, Busby, Lovett and Carol, Experts on human intimacy, balanced intimacy is comprised of […]
I have met and talked to many who have felt they have something important to do, but can’t quite figure out what it is, or how to go about doing it.
Some elements of relationship improvement and healing seem very difficult, but are actually very simple. Working on the first level of the 5 Intimacies, Verbal Intimacy, is a must. Try this some time… Approach your wife on just about any subject and ask, “What is your opinion on….?” Easy, right? The actually act of starting […]
How to use it and why it works *You can also watch Maurice explain this topic in a video training HERE. Many of us find ourselves in conversations where we start to feel “flooded”. This term is used to describe a complex psycho-biochemical experience where our ability to listen with an open mind is decreased […]
“You bring that up every time we talk about this. That’s stupid and we are not writing that down, I told you that already!” – A man who isn’t creating safety for his wife. My wife and I decided we wanted to sit down and write down our reason why we were moving forward with […]
A common question asked of me in my work with women who have experienced betrayal trauma or sexual trauma is something like, “What role is sexuality supposed to play in a healthy relationship?”
(The words of the wife are in italics.) I was able to have another chat with my husband last night where I calmly explained my distance of late is due to working through pain and past hurts. I explained that, just like when you get a serious burn, in the moment it hurts but […]