Resilience in Difficult Relationships
Understanding the Phases of Connection, Disconnection, and Rejuvenation Introduction: Relationships can be complex, and couples often find themselves at a point where they enter an unwanted phase of cohabitation. This is a critical juncture where many couples lose motivation and struggle to maintain their connection. However, recognizing the importance of continual effort and seeking personal […]
How to Cultivate Patience and Perseverance in Your Relationships
As humans, we are wired for instant gratification. We want what we want, and we want it now. But when it comes to relationships, especially with our significant others, we need to learn patience and perseverance. Imagine being a farmer who plants a seed that takes six months to sprout. You tend to the field, […]
Torment
As we strive to strengthen ourselves and our marriages, it is important to remember that Satan is always watching and waiting for an opportunity to strike. In 1 Peter 5:8, it says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” We must […]
Agreeing to Disagree is Pretty Much Saying…
Agreeing to disagree is a false notion. It is sweeping all those little issues under the rug, but over time someone moves that rug and we still have to deal with it.
Celestial Orientation
Several years ago, I was pondering what it must be like for a woman, who thought she was in a good and stable marriage, to discover her husband has been participating in significant sexual misbehaviors that are traumatizing to the marriage. I had recently stood on the east bank of the Mississippi river at […]
5 Steps to Rebuilding Trust after a Relationship has been Traumatized
When a relationship experiences trauma, it is like an airplane crash. The one who does the betraying is like the pilot and engineer of the plane, and the injured party is like the passenger.
Working on Emotional Intimacy – Discussing the Past
Emotional Intimacy is one of the hardest phases of the entire process of rebuilding and repairing your marriage. You will need to be able to skillfully keep the Spirit present during conversations, and skillfully retreat and regroup if things start to fall apart.
“I give not because I have not, but if I had, I would give.”
One of the most telling indicators that a relationship is ready to make an attempt at Season 1: Courtship, is if both are healed enough and recovered enough to bring value into the relationship.
Marriage Repair and Applying the First Three of the 12 Steps
The following is just one of over 100 lessons taught in the Marriage Repair Workshop: The Lazarus Lectures – by Maurice W. Harker, CMHC and team.
What To Do When You Have an Inadequate Spouse
What to do when you are an inadequate spouse. What to do when you have an inadequate spouse. As I have experienced my personal agony of not being enough in many circumstances…
7 Things to Consider Before Accepting Pornography as Normal and Tolerable
The correlation (not causation) of the overuse of pornography to criminal behavior. As a therapist who worked with the sex offender/general population I would do generalized assessments of each prisoner.
Teaching Children about Healthy Intimacy
Parents play an integral part in establishing healthy attachment and developing balanced intimacy for children. Here are three guidelines to help teach children. Parents play an integral part in establishing healthy attachment and developing balanced intimacy for our children. According to Walker, Busby, Lovett and Carol, Experts on human intimacy, balanced intimacy is comprised of […]
“Awake and Arise”
I have met and talked to many who have felt they have something important to do, but can’t quite figure out what it is, or how to go about doing it.
A Presiding Tool: Initiating Verbal Intimacy
Some elements of relationship improvement and healing seem very difficult, but are actually very simple. Working on the first level of the 5 Intimacies, Verbal Intimacy, is a must. Try this some time… Approach your wife on just about any subject and ask, “What is your opinion on….?” Easy, right? The actually act of starting […]
The 4 Square Listening Tool
How to use it and why it works *You can also watch Maurice explain this topic in a video training HERE. Many of us find ourselves in conversations where we start to feel “flooded”. This term is used to describe a complex psycho-biochemical experience where our ability to listen with an open mind is decreased […]