As we strive to strengthen ourselves and our marriages, it is important to remember that Satan is always watching and waiting for an opportunity to strike. In 1 Peter 5:8, it says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” We must […]
5 Steps to Rebuilding Trust after a Relationship has been Traumatized
When a relationship experiences trauma, it is like an airplane crash. The one who does the betraying is like the pilot and engineer of the plane, and the injured party is like the passenger.
Working on Emotional Intimacy – Discussing the Past
Emotional Intimacy is one of the hardest phases of the entire process of rebuilding and repairing your marriage. You will need to be able to skillfully keep the Spirit present during conversations, and skillfully retreat and regroup if things start to fall apart.
Marriage Repair and Applying the First Three of the 12 Steps
The following is just one of over 100 lessons taught in the Marriage Repair Workshop: The Lazarus Lectures – by Maurice W. Harker, CMHC and team.
What To Do When You Have an Inadequate Spouse
What to do when you are an inadequate spouse. What to do when you have an inadequate spouse. As I have experienced my personal agony of not being enough in many circumstances…
A Presiding Tool: Initiating Verbal Intimacy
Some elements of relationship improvement and healing seem very difficult, but are actually very simple. Working on the first level of the 5 Intimacies, Verbal Intimacy, is a must. Try this some time… Approach your wife on just about any subject and ask, “What is your opinion on….?” Easy, right? The actually act of starting […]
The 4 Square Listening Tool
How to use it and why it works *You can also watch Maurice explain this topic in a video training HERE. Many of us find ourselves in conversations where we start to feel “flooded”. This term is used to describe a complex psycho-biochemical experience where our ability to listen with an open mind is decreased […]
Don’t Bicker, Counsel
“You bring that up every time we talk about this. That’s stupid and we are not writing that down, I told you that already!” – A man who isn’t creating safety for his wife. My wife and I decided we wanted to sit down and write down our reason why we were moving forward with […]
Sex as a Reward?
A common question asked of me in my work with women who have experienced betrayal trauma or sexual trauma is something like, “What role is sexuality supposed to play in a healthy relationship?”
Marital Repair Case Study #1
(The words of the wife are in italics.) I was able to have another chat with my husband last night where I calmly explained my distance of late is due to working through pain and past hurts. I explained that, just like when you get a serious burn, in the moment it hurts but […]
Supporting/Responding to a Spouse (Husband) Who has a Pornography/Sexual Addiction
Currently, in 99% of the cases I work with, it is the husband who has the sexual addiction, and the wife who is seeking understanding on how to respond. So, this article will clearly discuss how I recommend a wife respond to a husband’s pornography/sexual addiction.
The Line-Upon-Line Relapse Prevention Intervention For Couples
How am I supposed to handle it when my husband has a “lost battle”? (A “lost battle” is a term used in the Men of Moroni as well as other recovery programs within Life Changing Services. For this article, a battle is “lost” when the husband chooses to engage in, or act with behaviors […]
Psychological Intimacy Improves Physical Intimacy
I have observed a certain destructive pattern in marriages for some time now, and a couple of cases have really stood out this week. This pattern could lead to the end of the marriage(s).
A Few Good Men – Repairing Broken Marriages
I was thinking this morning about the men I have been working with who are getting it right. These are very brave and dedicated men who are willing to discover their own shortcomings.