Reflective listening. 2 Women sitting on couch talking

The Advanced Reflective Listening Tool: How to Become an Influencer by Talking Less

In my journey of understanding relationship dynamics, I’ve harnessed a powerful tool—Advanced Reflective Listening (ARL). This blog post takes a deep dive into my personal experiences, shedding light on the profound impact of reflective listening on relationships, personal growth, and the skillful art of  positively influencing others’ lives.

The Act of Faith: Speaking Less to Influence More:

The initial trepidation and difficulty I encountered in learning to speak less, I now embrace it as an act of faith. Recognizing the need for humility and noticing I don’t have all answers enables me to access a more potent force of faith.  It fosters a divine connection and guidance from my higher power.  This leads to a more spiritually centered and fulfilling life. 

Undeniable Communication from God Ebook Cover
Creating Space for Spiritual Influence:

A notable benefit of reflective listening is the  P-A-U-S-E  it introduces.  This can open up a sacred opportunity for spiritual influence to manifest. Disconnecting from personal thoughts provides room for the spirit to guide responses. By humbling letting go of the need to possess all the answers and listening for inspiration and guidance, I’ve experienced a more profound connection with my higher power.  By listening more — I gain more.

Reflective Listening in Action:

Navigating parenthood, I’ve discovered a remarkable shift with my youth, now affectionately calling me their “Bestie.” Through ARL, I’ve uncovered a deeper connection with my child. This technique involves repeating and clarifying statements to provide insights into their concerns and thoughts. It cultivates an environment where meaningful conversations flourish.

Applying Reflective Listening in Personal Relationships

During a recent conversation with my husband regarding a specific financial decision, I seamlessly integrated the ARL communication tool. Instead of approaching the discussion with a predetermined stance, I entered it with genuine interest and openness to his viewpoints, concerns, and potential solutions.

By incorporating this approach, we sidestepped the pitfalls of competing perspectives and instead came together, arriving at a collaborative resolution. Our success in applying this transformative tool hinged on overcoming the compulsion to be right. We fostered an environment where mutual understanding and collaboration could thrive, particularly in determining our future financial direction.


The advanced version of reflective listening, (ARL) can transform you into an influencer by emphasizing the power of talking less. In embracing challenges and potential fears, adopting a quieter presence, and speaking less, one requires faith and trust in God’s inspiration and guidance. This transformative tool for personal growth and influencing others, creates space for spiritual influence, liberates from judgment, and strengthens connections. Speaking less evolves into an act of faith, unlocking doors to deeper relationships, personal growth, and a heightened sense of divine purpose.

This technique encompasses repeating and clarifying statements.  It incorporates the P-A-U-S-E  before responding to people’s shares and eliminates the need to have all the answers. It cultivates an environment where meaningful conversations flourish and relationships thrive.

Cindy Jorgensen

Written by Cindy Jorgensen, owner of Precept Family Services. Cindy uses the Ideal Vision 4 Life Method to help her clients. She works with couples, individuals and families to bring peace, healing, and recovery to their lives.

If you would like clarification on any of the concepts you read in this blog or any of the other resources I have shared, you will want to chat with me for a 30 min consultation (free).  Please include the theme or concern you have in the notes for the appointment so I can come prepared. If that visit is insufficient, future visits will be $67 charge per hour for a training session.   See you soon!

Share this post