(Read about our methods of recovery; a unique blend of spiritual and scientific principles. We have made the ebook version of Like Dragons Did They Fight – FREE.)
It would be nice if we could hope that our loved ones will never be exposed to inappropriate media. Unfortunately, we have reached a phase in technology where it is no longer a matter of “if”, but “when” and “how much”.
We are increasingly seeing those as young as 11 and 12 years-old with first time exposure. It is unlikely that they are addicted at this level, but likely that they are seeing more than you ever wanted them to see.
We are also seeing that, contrary to popular belief, marriage and frequent appropriate sexual activity does not take away pornography or sexual addiction. So, adults just as much as teens are at risk. So, here is what you do.
What to do to determine if your loved one has pornography concern?
Ask your loved one (or yourself) about once a month, “When was the last time you ran into something inappropriate in the media?” This carefully crafted question helps decrease defensiveness. If he or she feels like you are blaming them or attacking them, they are likely to misrepresent the truth to you.
Adults, please don’t be offended if your loved ones ask you these same questions. In this day and age all who rely on you have a right to know, and you have the responsibility to be accountable to those who trust you.
Asking as if it was an accident allows them to tell you the truth while saving face.
Here are the 4 levels of use:
1. Almost Never’s
- Usually performs at normal levels in academics, social situations, sports, music, employment, etc.
- Rare moments of unusual moods.
- Quickly admits to any exposure to inappropriate material if confronted, or voluntarily reports exposures.
- Will not react with negativity to block being put on electronic devices and rules regarding use of and/or possession of media devices.
- Will proactively decide and can avoid exposure to inappropriate material for long periods of time. (At least 3 months)**
Before we go further, I want you to know that we have a FREE support/training team specifically for mothers called Mothers Who Know. It is the best (and least expensive) place women can go for high quality information about how parents should react to discovering pornography use and other sexual misbehaviors are in their home.
Also, we have a FREE therapeutic service for women who have discovered their husbands are struggling with sexual misbehavior. It is called, the WORTH group.
These are those who are using pornography (or other sexual misbehaviors) more frequently, but are not considered addicted yet. Natural curiosities are to be expected, but can lead to addiction.
- The frequency of exposure is increasing (or you suspect it is increasing) even if accidental.
- Mood shifts are becoming more frequent.
- Secrecy is becoming more frequent.
- Misrepresenting the truth is becoming more frequent.
- Performance in academics, social situations, sports, music, etc beginning to be affected.
- Decreasing respect to authority figures.
- Verbalizes increased apathy toward activities that are usually interesting.
- Reluctantly admits to inappropriate behavior.
- Values avoiding inappropriate media, but still “slips” more than once every 3 months, but less than once every other week.
- Significant, unignorable mood changes, primarily irritable.
- Significant, noticeable patterns of misrepresenting the truth
- Sneaky, avoidant
- Significant drops in self-confidence.
- Values avoiding inappropriate media, but still “slips” more than once every other week.
- No matter how hard he or she tries, he or she is unable to make measurable improvements.
4. Former Addicts:
- Individuals who used to be addicts but have gained the knowledge, skill and perspective necessary to avoid inappropriate behavior for significant lengths of time, possibly permanently.
LDS families might have hoped that our loved ones would be sheltered from access to inappropriate media, but unfortunately, the power of technology makes access only a few clicks away on just about any electronic device.
Not only is the number of youth in our area who are exposed to pornography alarming, so is the number of youth who are becoming addicted to the material and its associated behaviors. The pain and humiliation associated with this addiction can be overwhelming for these youth.
We want our youth to be trained to avoid the bondage in the first place, but if they are already enslaved, we want them to be empowered to conquer! While blocks on technology help a little, to win this war, youth will need to be trained from the inside to be able to make quick and powerful choices.
LDS leaders in your area have been urgently searching to find or create a training system for those fighting this battle that is not only built upon the most powerful scientific methods of our time, but also openly integrates LDS values and principles.
It is our understanding that church headquarters leaves the responsibility of finding quality training systems to the local leadership. With this in mind, we have created an introduction video for church leaders that can be shown for a 5th Sunday presentation and/or firesides.
This video does not have any elements of advertising or marketing, but is just for your education. You are invited to share it with all who you feel would be served by it. WATCH VIDEO HERE
We are also available to present directly to your ward for a 5th Sunday presentation either in person or through Zoom. Please call our office at 877-437-6877 to set that up.
All Life Changing Services self-mastery training systems are available to you no matter where you live. We have both in-person and online groups.